Search found 454 matches

by Hansi Smurf
03 Nov 2010 22:42
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

shitter-material

Hello Fellow Gross Reader! It is I, Hansi Smurf! I have now eliminated all the names of all of the other veritable Boasts and Scolds from the Testimony, save Metal Fan (and a Forum Moderator)! Metal Fan's ejaculation elsewhere on behalf of her reading and seeing how and why I have the right to kill ...
by Hansi Smurf
02 Nov 2010 22:19
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Goodbye To Baby-Boomer Age-Group Parents Pt. I

Yeah, I hadda dentist appointment in me old home town of Transcona today, and I decided that I'd use the opportunity for ta visit me Mum and Dad, and drop off an already asked for "Christmas wish-list"! Instead of good cheer, I recieved blatant disrespect, and outright berserker animism, forcing me ...
by Hansi Smurf
29 Oct 2010 02:49
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Goodbye to the Forum.

Maple Leaf! Old Glory! War Eagle! Tricolour! Red Sun Rising! Union Jack! (Cool team, huh, kids?) (Disabled) United States Canadian Home Officer 901-424 Edm. St. R3B 3B5 A Congressman in Washington D.C. has against himself, zero censure whilst addressing Congress. If something the Congressman says wh...
by Hansi Smurf
27 Oct 2010 21:30
Forum: Otherland
Topic: Comic Books
Replies: 73
Views: 76448

The History of Marvel Comics

Thruout the history of Marvel Comics, all of the writers all tow the same line: Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Steve Ditko created all of those old Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, X-Men & Avengers based heroes and villains. However, via reading Stan Lee's own autobiography (title absent from memory), Stan Le...
by Hansi Smurf
27 Oct 2010 21:14
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Ooops!

I made ah mistake, bad enuff ta wreck tha' above lick!

It's "they gonna" a buncha times, thru the second movement!

Enjoy the "cascades" and tha' "fat grooves", even more this time around, all you Boasts and Scolds!

Over and Out.
by Hansi Smurf
27 Oct 2010 18:21
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

A Free Lick Fer the BLIND GUARDIAN Sound Machine

"Say what you wanna, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna (old enuff ta've been my daughter) Gonna hafta come clean When they; Take what they wanna, they gonna, they gonna, they gonna, Madonna (You know you're gonna hafta look mean) Uhn! (repeat) In my Mind's Eye, popstar Madonna wants to agree that she cannot...
by Hansi Smurf
27 Oct 2010 18:02
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Scientific Wrestling

Still, today, Cosmically Conscious Old People will deny the Ancient Military Theocracy's brain/spinal chord = telepathy/empathy, all so that their own emotions and fears can be experienced by the inexperienced person as their very own fault. (see, Xodar) The NCAA's own proofs that pounds, square inc...
by Hansi Smurf
27 Oct 2010 02:09
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

There's No Such Thing As ESP

Or hypnosis, huh, kids? I can still remember my one and only jet-plane trip to Orlando, Florida. I can still remember the grown-ups brain-projecting that we weren't even on the plane, that once you got to the airport you were somehow frozen in a closet there, and the trip was only a dream for you to...
by Hansi Smurf
27 Oct 2010 01:40
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

A Change In Spiritual Tact Required

Imagine if you could earnestly and sincerely say: "The World has been redeemed: Man's wickedness, is no more..." Until my very wicked neighbors, and the Wpg. Police Presence of my own age/peer group, up there in my very imagination, no longer lean on me cognitively, whereby their own spiritual tact ...
by Hansi Smurf
26 Oct 2010 19:59
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Episode IX

Post-15, the Episode IX has been upgraded to include a final scene illustrating a fully resurrected and fully redeemed original cast. Peace To All, Save For the Faggots! (Clone Wars Writers: I will have a brain and heart exactly the same as one another, and will not save nor minister to any of you a...
by Hansi Smurf
26 Oct 2010 19:43
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

The Punch In The Face Reviewed

So, I'm typing away at Millenium Library Computer #583 when like Steve Harris in his famous poem, "Number of the Beast", I just can't avoid someone's brain/backbone, at all! I look up at the old fellow, and he just lies and says, "I'm looking at you cuz I want your computer", while the physical tact...
by Hansi Smurf
25 Oct 2010 23:16
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Uppercut To The Chin!

The Boastless Boasts of Braggi! They just all HAVE to be talked down to, just one last time! Romance is for wicked and insipid - it is even for the bigger-than/older-than violence coercable, gun-controllable folk, too. Porno types like all you Bragless Boasts are, and the prudes too, ARE and must be...
by Hansi Smurf
25 Oct 2010 23:00
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 24854

Big Mike's Trailer Park Dogs!

Wherever you are, in the world today, yah just gotta buy a can of high-quality pork-free maple beans, a 500 gram pepperoni sausage, and eight bakery-fresh hot dog buns! Cut the pepperoni inta 8 weiner size strips, slow-fry 'em up on their three sided nature, til Golden Brown, drop 'em inta them self...
by Hansi Smurf
25 Oct 2010 22:40
Forum: Imaginations from the Other Side
Topic: Iron Maiden new album: The Final Frontier
Replies: 187
Views: 64206

Why SPIKES is Iron Maiden's Final Frontier

People of all ages love aggro, sorrow, mating, denning, defense, and, offensive ethnic-cleansing! Those emotions are eternal to we, the Eternal! Current Iron Maiden Producer, Kevin Shirley, he just keeps claiming to have gone past the Mental Age of Violence, but does he lift weights regularly, or pr...
by Hansi Smurf
25 Oct 2010 22:16
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: God is imaginary
Replies: 157
Views: 54861

The Gods of Mars

The Voice of the Black Man, Xodar, circa 1914 "The whole fabric of our religon is based upon superstitious belief in lies that have been foisted upon us for ages by those directly above us, to whose personal profit and aggrandizement it was to have us continue to believe as they wished us to believe...
by Hansi Smurf
24 Oct 2010 21:29
Forum: Imaginations from the Other Side
Topic: Iron Maiden new album: The Final Frontier
Replies: 187
Views: 64206

Explain your ejaculation politically, Orodaran!

Why are you, a supposed grown-up and authority figure, why are you allowed by your innards for to attack INNOCENT Literate Men and Women? Why will you call being free an attack on the monied and now unetitled? Why will you not accept that God's Divine Providence is now, and has always been, Flowerch...
by Hansi Smurf
24 Oct 2010 21:12
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

ATTN: Sue Rostini and Jeph Loeb

Marvel Wars #4: Darth Vader and the Battle of the Super-Heroes Main Contents Last iss', Darth Sidious was featured, a-time travelling and a-gathering, the necessary 5 Dark Lords of the Sith, for to complete a prophecied Sith take-over of the entire Marvel Universe! Now we see, Darth Vader, calling h...
by Hansi Smurf
23 Oct 2010 18:58
Forum: Imaginations from the Other Side
Topic: Iron Maiden new album: The Final Frontier
Replies: 187
Views: 64206

Still Zero Entertainment From The Sanctuary Musical Group?

What gives, Hansi? I thought I told you to gather together the SPIKES masters, and publish the goods, digitally on i-tunes, and on Compact Disc, too! Eddie, hanging from offa the Spikes of a partially-opened Iron Maiden casket: the viewer, at 11 o'clock from the casket: the stone-casket, up on a sta...
by Hansi Smurf
23 Oct 2010 18:36
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

The Disturbations of Hansi Smurf

Ya know kids, I'm wondering, as I look back at all of the various feelings of disturbation, as to whether or not my very and all too short-temper, was at all very right at the time, cuz of course, everything that I wrote here, previously, was once, VERY disturbing to me, myself, the Writer of Hansi ...
by Hansi Smurf
22 Oct 2010 18:34
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

The Robots of Post-Industry

Why I conjure the phrase "the Robots of Post-Industry": I have been informed that those whom do well and uncomplainingly today at work and school here in the Post-Industrial Era, are indeed, for to be thought of as today's very "Robot's Of Post Industry!" For you see, the workers and schoolers were ...
by Hansi Smurf
22 Oct 2010 18:28
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

The Third Big Collector's Item Issue of the Marvel Wars!

Marvel Wars #3: A Gathering of Sith Chapter 1 Darth Sidious versus Spider-Man begins this explosive third issue! A brief exchange of acrobatics and parley, and Spider-Man is undone: completely overwhelmed and enthralled by the Dark Side of the Force! Now in possesion of Spider-Man, Sidious sends the...
by Hansi Smurf
21 Oct 2010 19:00
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

The Boastless Boasts of Braggi

Just like to re-iterate: Neutral bodies are safe from me: and I suppose by God, that the German Chancellor, and the other elected officials'll soon be doing all of my dirty work for me, and my fellow Tarzen! Have fun working and schooling, and cleaning up after all yer retards and fellow geriatrics,...
by Hansi Smurf
21 Oct 2010 18:49
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Bragging With Boasts

What is thy argument Boast? Even Braggi is forced by the REAL LIVING WORLD OF THE FLESH for to admit that I am the better man and the superior typist; the only living argument/testimony here! Too, my stature, cranium, emotional drive, training and conditioning, and very lack of glasses or other infi...
by Hansi Smurf
21 Oct 2010 18:41
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Putting spamel to the Sword, Plague & Famine.

Yeh. I will soon attack you all openly via the accomplice of Our Mutual Global Military Theocracy. All the Boasts of the Post-1967 world, all break their own logic-circuits, just by getting up in the morning! They just keep making anti-neutral, anti-Smurf emotional-territorial approaches, rather tha...
by Hansi Smurf
21 Oct 2010 18:28
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Attack of the Killer Boasts Pt. II

Quantify, nut-job, Boast, or just quit bugging me, you goddamned, fucking, goddamned, fucking Boast, you! :mrgreen:
by Hansi Smurf
21 Oct 2010 18:06
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Attack of the Killer Boasts

The Boasts of Braggi have Zero Testimony, or they would have Testified Here, wouldn't they?

Huh?

What Boast? What?!?

What is it that I Testify for to that upsets? What?

Gibbas: medical sociopaths, the all of 'um!

Hansi Smurf alone rules.

Hansi Smurf alone exists.

:mrgreen:
by Hansi Smurf
21 Oct 2010 02:44
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Goodbye To Romance Pt. II Under The Moons Of Mars

The hypothesis was: "If telepathy and empathy, then rape a womb when you are horny; sounds nice to those whom are willing to be both Fathers and Husbands, don't it?" Now, post returning to Mars (Edgar Rice Burroughs Romance Propaganda), I cannot even ascribe to my own invisible horniness as valid to...
by Hansi Smurf
21 Oct 2010 02:41
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Say This Aloud Ta Yerself!

From, "A Princess of Mars", Edgar Rice Burroughs 1912. As relates to poor Cassandra: "I hear you Hansi Kursch. As you know, I am not of Germany; your ways are not my ways, and I can only act in the future, as I have in the past: in accordance with the dictates of my own conscience, and guided by the...
by Hansi Smurf
20 Oct 2010 18:34
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Goodbye To Scold-based Polygamous Sex-Harems Pt. I

It has come to my attention, via Intuition, and my own constant Masturbation Sessions, rather than Divine Conception Sessions, that the very Scolds of Skalde are still just that: evil creatures needing for to be under 24/7 electronic audio/visual surveillance, and disallowed, ALL SEX PRACTICES: and ...
by Hansi Smurf
20 Oct 2010 18:18
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Two Companies United By Mutual Conceits & Ironies

Marvel Wars #2: Enter The Sith Chapter 1 Iss' #2 begins by fufilling last iss's promised sword fight between an unarmored Doc Doom, and a human-form, the Thing! Ben Grimm and Victor Von Doom, battle furiously upon a beachfront located in a neighborhood well-known internationally for sanctioning "snu...
by Hansi Smurf
20 Oct 2010 02:13
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Goodbye To spam-god

Clinically insane to understand?

Don't you mean experienced, and well-read: BOY? :mrgreen:
by Hansi Smurf
20 Oct 2010 01:47
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Fuck Off, Pretend Authority!

They just keep typing that Hansi Smurf is insane, but just like the rest of the PRETEND AUTHORITIES, none of 'em ever offer any evidence in Testimony, for to quantify, their very own "insane babble" accusation; easily quantified by every lawyer and judge in the world, as SLANDER! :evil: Dullards: kn...
by Hansi Smurf
19 Oct 2010 19:28
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Are There Any Zoological Theologans In the House?
Replies: 13
Views: 7219

Observing Sizism

Utilizing today's global-sizing, minus Winnipeg's own, Warehouse one, where a size 36" waist is actually everyone elses' size 40" waist: Did you know, that a trim, fit, 6'3" male of medium build (48" chest), will generally fill out a Man's Small muscle T, just right? So, we may intuit, that 6'3", tr...
by Hansi Smurf
19 Oct 2010 19:13
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Creationist Sex

Yeah, BLIND GUARDIAN? You, the celebrity studio-musical quartet? You've gotta bring together the Five Scolds of Skalde, and together perform a track whereby, the Five Scolds, all gang-vocal "Leave! Hulk! Alone!", and provide us all with an accompanying music video, featuring the famous Jeph Loeb "In...
by Hansi Smurf
19 Oct 2010 19:05
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Richard Dawkins (biologist/atheist speaker) hatemail
Replies: 66
Views: 24284

Rape and Consent?

Pickton? He hates not bending the knee and not being sanctified by bigger-thans! Same with the Montreal Massacerer, too, huh, BUM? It is a shame when sex-driveless males are allowed for to cum, since without exposure to sociopathic-sex, they never did cum, not at all! Not even a wet-dream! Being a s...
by Hansi Smurf
19 Oct 2010 18:53
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Barack Hussein Obama
Replies: 268
Views: 99551

A Relevant Almost Off-Topic Post

Interesting that White Racism is on the rise, globally! Interesting too, that fnord-wise, Germany's Chancellor, is really only speaking someone else's mind, and for the money, too! Too bad! She looks kinda cute ta me! Ah, good, ole, Canadian-Global History Professor/Israelite Spy, Brooks: thank you ...
by Hansi Smurf
19 Oct 2010 18:30
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Goodbye To Romance Pt. II

Well, Scolds, now there is only, I, the Only of Braggi's True Boasts! The other penis having Earth-indigeoneez? They have all been lobotomized by their very created natures, and are ALL avidly, RIGHT NOW, seeking vasectomies! :mrgreen: Male monotheism amongst the speeched males of Earth? :lol: Boob ...
by Hansi Smurf
18 Oct 2010 21:46
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Richard Dawkins (biologist/atheist speaker) hatemail
Replies: 66
Views: 24284

Santa Claus

Once, when I lived at 39-161 Langside, I was sitting, reading, as usual in them days, when a voice in my forehead, said: "Santa Claus is coming to town", or something very similar. I looked up from the book I was reading, most likely a New Jedi Order Book, or some other Space-Fantasy, and wouldn't y...
by Hansi Smurf
18 Oct 2010 21:22
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Marvel Comics Group/Lucasfilm Ltd./Blind Guardian

Marvel Wars #1: Vader's Doom Prologue Vader & Sidious, visit the smouldering ruin of the Jedi Temple. Here, unharmed by their arson, is a silver carousel, holding at it's round, 4 ft. height, 7 light-sabers, back-ground radiation, induction-coil powered weapons of unlimited charge! At the centre of ...
by Hansi Smurf
17 Oct 2010 20:59
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

A New Bardic Order

Yah, know kids, I been thinking! Who is that famous red-head, upon that famous lap of Hansi Kursches', thru the famous Arwen Arianna web-link? Whoever she may be, I'm picking her as our very own BLIND GUARDIAN-era, Skalde, herself; while be-naming, Hansi Kursch, Braggi! The Scolds of Skalde! The Boa...
by Hansi Smurf
17 Oct 2010 20:38
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

John Milius/J.R.R. Tolkein/WWE/Peter Jackson/Mike Baker

I wuz thinking that it'd be cool if Hulk Hogan attacked Arnold Schwarzenegger! :twisted: I thought: why not have the Executive Eye-Star-Eye, and all of their Body, there in some far-flung, star-faring, Middle-Earth Era, why not, have McKellan, Undertaker, Lee, Cena, and Triple H, why not have them s...
by Hansi Smurf
16 Oct 2010 01:57
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Re: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?

Post 10, post 5, and post 15, of this here thread! That's what I want the whole world to sing of! :mrgreen:
by Hansi Smurf
16 Oct 2010 01:40
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Starring BLIND GUARDIAN as LORD PROTECTOR

Star Wars Episode IX: Invasion of the Universe Scene 1 The now 14-year old, Star-Warrior, meets Darth Gott, in the middle of a, large, G1-type, star. Gott drops the Gott-battlesuit, becoming, once more, just an Adam-Sith, and is too, by Star-Warrior, injected with a Distance Transcender Serum, causi...
by Hansi Smurf
14 Oct 2010 18:46
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

To The Princess of the Revolution

Gee, Whiz! I sure wish you'd show up here, Boob!

I sure do miss yah!
by Hansi Smurf
14 Oct 2010 18:25
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Passengers For Life
Replies: 275
Views: 96969

How I'd Book BG Across Canada, Summer 201-?

BLIND GUARDIAN: "On Guard, Canada!" Summer Tour 201-? St. John's, Nfld (Prime Minister Harper Himself, Welcomes Tha Boyz On Canada Day) Gander, Nfld (Here Tha Bardz Perform A Special Concert, For Our Canadian Armed Service Men & Women) Fredricton, NB (It's Official Wumbfuller Tha Mayor's Wife Day In...
by Hansi Smurf
13 Oct 2010 19:59
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Hansi, the Smurf Who Loved Swastikas
Replies: 120
Views: 47443

Why Bards N' Civilians Are Dullards:

The people here keep blaming drugs n' sex fer all the bad they spew out into the world: but they're all gonna hafta admit tah being dull and senseless drones, rather than being, shaking, bleeding, shocking n' rocking, wumbfullerer's, then, ain't they, fellow Zoologists? Yeah, drugs are "illegal", bu...
by Hansi Smurf
13 Oct 2010 19:48
Forum: Otherland
Topic: Comic Books
Replies: 73
Views: 76448

Cosmic Cube Collection: Too Expensive!

I just re-read some of, Fanastic Four 304-319 v.1, and, some of the Secret Wars II, published by Marvel Comics, mid-1980's and into the early 1990's: and boy oh boy! Defalco, Englehart and Big Jim Shooter, musta figured on me having Millions of Dollars for to buy Collector's Comics Back Issue's with...
by Hansi Smurf
12 Oct 2010 18:15
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Passengers For Life
Replies: 275
Views: 96969

Well, I'm Sure That I Ain't On Drugs!

Metal Fan! You are the only other Writer on Earth, today, whom has openly supported, confirmed, and, re-read, Hansi Smurf: congratulations, Metal Fan - oh, She, of the same IQ 207, as one, Wile E. Coyote, Super-Genius! :wink: Thanks, Metal Fan, 'fer existing, and fer being so warm and gentle and kin...
by Hansi Smurf
12 Oct 2010 18:04
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 54579

Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?

I hope, that you, the reader, will enjoy the little bit of Star Wars VII, starring BLIND GUARDIAN, that I, Hansi Smurf, posted here, and completely against Lucasfilm Co. Policy, too, just two posts up! :roll: The Fnords here, tell us, that many of you, including the One, Hansi Kursch, do not recogni...
by Hansi Smurf
11 Oct 2010 01:04
Forum: Imaginations from the Other Side
Topic: Iron Maiden new album: The Final Frontier
Replies: 187
Views: 64206

Tha Lyrics!

A quiet song about coming in 'fer a landing, rather than a real stormer, about crash-landing, and living ta tell tha tale? :? "The Alchemist", was allright, but it's still just a band, refusing to just shut the fuck-up, an' power-fantasize, and thus earn their record sales certificates, from us, the...