Funny and biting excerpt from the site with all the lists

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t.a.j.
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Funny and biting excerpt from the site with all the lists

#1 Post by t.a.j. » 01 Jun 2010 22:21

The Center for Biological Diversity counted the number of polar bears left and found that, holy shit, those things are endangered. In a sign of just how legally messed up things are, they're having to sue the government to get the status changed from "threatened" to "endangered." That's right, the scientists whose job it is to track endangered animals still have to bring a court case to get that tracking recorded, and that's not even the worst lawsuit involved.

A countersuit has been filed by the American Petroleum Institute, the National Association of Manufacturers, the American Iron and Steel Institute and others who clearly have no ulterior motives whatsoever. The countersuit is seeking to not only block the upgrade but to remove the "threatened" status, even though few of their legal statements even address the number of polar bears at all and amount to "Ah, they'll be fine".


Look at that guy. He's living the dream.

They point out that with the cost of gas the way it is, the bears should not be considered "endangered." Our understanding of bear-mating is woefully underdeveloped, but we don't think those things check the price at the pump before deciding whether or not to produce offspring. The companies also complain that Alaska has to deal with special conservation rules that other states don't. The fact that Alaska is the only state that actually has polar bears doesn't really seem relevant to them.

What a Victory Would Imply:

That you don't even have to address the issue of the case. For example, you could beat a murder rap by simply proving conclusively that going to jail for twenty years would significantly damage your ability to make a decent living as a hitman.

Source: http://www.cracked.com/article_16896_7- ... od_p2.html
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No‘am
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Re: Funny and biting excerpt from the site with all the list

#2 Post by No‘am » 01 Jun 2010 22:46

That looks like something written by James Joyce.
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John T. Berzanske IV
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Re: Funny and biting excerpt from the site with all the list

#3 Post by John T. Berzanske IV » 03 Jun 2010 02:46

While the one about the comet made me laugh, the aids vitamins one was pretty horrifying. That's up there with the Pope saying that condoms actually spread aids.
ra me nivar wrote:You can be satisfied after making a nice omelette, but I would need more to be fulfilled, like having a son, writting a book or fucking Nicole Kidman.
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